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Sleepy Seed

As I grow with the practice of meditation and mindfulness I find a curious change in me. I have started looking out at the world with the eyes of someone from long ago. I was a mindful happy child, I found magic and mystery all around me, I could spend hours with myself and theContinue reading “Sleepy Seed”

Mountain Solid

I finish meditating and open my eyes. Today was “mountain solid balance’ meditation, I feel strong. My open eyes fall on the photograph of the little boy I lost, it’s always on my puja table. I would have done anything to hold him in my arms again. But anything is till not enough. That senseContinue reading “Mountain Solid”

Day 1

Today’s morning session was pure magic. I explored the infinite visual field available with eyes closed, patterns, motion, light, colour. I have accepted the constraints of society for a long long time, without being aware of it. I thought I walked unafraid. I did not, I do not. The glitch, the matrix. That’s a start.

Pain

Relationship. This is a heavy weight word. I have never been able to wrap my head around it. Relationship is different from relatedness. It is an entity, a living thing in itself. So when is it born, when does it grow sick and weakly, and when does it die. Or was it ever really thereContinue reading “Pain”

Smile

I was in the shower, trying desperately not to think of all the tasks I had to complete today. I am constantly striving to be the best version of myself, this is something I’ve carried with me all my life and it really does ruin awareness and experience. The Om chanting was in the background,Continue reading “Smile”

Habit

As I sat meditating this morning, I was aware of a rage rising within me, so extreme was the anger that I started to tremble. I followed its path backwards and came to my supposed beginning, my birth. I saw this infant grow, the seed of rage growing into a sapling, then a plant withContinue reading “Habit”

Initiation

I had a sudden insight yesterday. I say sudden because that’s how it felt, but it’s obviously a work in progress. All religions speak of love, goodness, generosity, selflessness. These are beautiful concepts but are still concepts. Right, wrong, good bad, light, dark, these are but two sides of the same face. Yet all enlightenedContinue reading “Initiation”

Earthworm

This morning, I came home from walking Marla and found an earthworm, half a foot long, on the gravel, in front of our gate. I knew it was very unsafe there, I walked Marla carefully around the worm, and inside the house. I was about to go and transport the worm to safety when motherContinue reading “Earthworm”

Rain

It’s been a wishy washy few days in the capital of India. Whilst I love the rain and clouds and colours and smells, I don’t particularly like getting wet. I also don’t like carrying an umbrella, and I have yet to invest in a raincoat, although I’m fairly certain I will dislike that too. IContinue reading “Rain”

Act of Love

Yesterday I practised, the piano that is, and it was different. I have been struggling with a deep conflict. For the longest time, I have identified with being a ‘musician’, and yet at the same time, I am aware that any sort of definition strips me off my freedom. I sought to resolve this byContinue reading “Act of Love”

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