Sometimes I see strange faces when I meditate, they come in flashes, faces I don’t know, sometime there’s strange imagery, weird concepts, they come and go. There’s a visual field, waves, floating colours, tunnels, spirals, this is all very lovely, and suddenly something will appear and disturb it. And today there was a dripping sound,Continue reading “Open Sesame”
Author Archives: zotgod
The Crow
There are times when I find myself yearning for my meditation cushion, quite fiercely. I simply cannot take interference anymore, when I must answer to myself and through that to the eternal, what possible role does anyone else play, it distresses me to see people try and fix me when they are quite so brokenContinue reading “The Crow”
Run
We have a morning ritual. There is a lovely small park right outside my house sheltered by Neem trees. Every morning we go play, Light is a frisbee sort of guy, Marla loves running after the ball, I just love being there with them, throwing objects. It’s been roughly four and a half years ago.Continue reading “Run”
Autumn
Today I meditated outside. I live in a duplex apartment and have a small balcony where I grow plants, feed the crows and used to keep chickens. The chickens I rescued were always very destructive towards my plants, I don’t know if that’s a response to the stressful conditions they were bred in, or ifContinue reading “Autumn”
Cause and Effect
I have not been able to write much in the last few days. The reason being that I lack the clarity to use discrete objects like words to describe my present experiences. After some initial discoveries and removal of some obvious blocks I have tumbled into a space where I am entirely unsure. I haveContinue reading “Cause and Effect”
——-
My father severely dislikes women. I have grown up bearing the brunt of this. Yesterday after many days I felt a relentless pain stemming from an incident related to this. I have of course forgiven and mostly forgotten, but every now and then, when I least expect it, I am pole vaulted into the past.Continue reading “——-“
Baaa.
Meditation definitely requires an increased consumption of water and water kinda stuff like juice. I feel it. I’m in a bit of a confused place right now. My inclination is to keep increasing the time spent meditating, however too much tires me out, I need to slowly build up the adjustment. This is always trickyContinue reading “Baaa.”
Teacher Will Find You
“When the student is ready the teacher will appear. When the student is truly ready… The teacher will Disappear.” “When the student is ready the teacher will appear.” My oldest friend had said this to me a long time ago. It seems like a long time ago. The last few months I have wondered whatContinue reading “Teacher Will Find You”
Balance
I forgot what I was going to write about…ah yesterday. Yesterday was one of the most overwhelming days I’ve lived through. I’m not sure how to begin. I meditated ‘several times’ yesterday. I think it was the second ‘session’, one of my students had not practised and I was waiting for her to play theContinue reading “Balance”
Blur
I want to put this down right now, before I have spent time analysing and destroying the essence of it. Today I was listening to D. Madhusudan playing Raag Ahir Bhairav whilst meditating. I started reading the book, ‘On Having No Head’, D.E. Harding yesterday. I am not much convinced by the science of it,Continue reading “Blur”
