There is a new stillness in the room I have been practising meditation in, I feel it as soon as I enter from the noise outside, it suddenly becomes quieter. After practising in a disciplined way, every single day, for the last 45 days or so, gradually increasing duration and intensity, I have had myContinue reading “Green”
Author Archives: zotgod
Clean
Went for a run this morning, it’s been many mornings since I’ve done that and I loved it. Have been feeling tired these last few weeks. The years of alcohol and inadequate eating have greatly weakened my body, and I am now feeling the effects of it. It will take time to reverse the changes,Continue reading “Clean”
Grace
I had one of my deepest and clearest meditation sessions today. I observed feeling tones of death and sickness, but it was just that, a quiet observing. I caught myself drifting much less than I usually do. However, these sessions need to carry into everything else, I am slowly learning. Grace is only to beContinue reading “Grace”
Balance (…and again…)
As a musician, one of my hardest tasks is to stay motivated. Easy tasks bore me, I always pick something that is on the fringe, only just in my reach, which requires much concentration and energy and the learning is slow. I suppose in any job there is tedium, but my inability to play aContinue reading “Balance (…and again…)”
Open Sesame
Sometimes I see strange faces when I meditate, they come in flashes, faces I don’t know, sometime there’s strange imagery, weird concepts, they come and go. There’s a visual field, waves, floating colours, tunnels, spirals, this is all very lovely, and suddenly something will appear and disturb it. And today there was a dripping sound,Continue reading “Open Sesame”
The Crow
There are times when I find myself yearning for my meditation cushion, quite fiercely. I simply cannot take interference anymore, when I must answer to myself and through that to the eternal, what possible role does anyone else play, it distresses me to see people try and fix me when they are quite so brokenContinue reading “The Crow”
Run
We have a morning ritual. There is a lovely small park right outside my house sheltered by Neem trees. Every morning we go play, Light is a frisbee sort of guy, Marla loves running after the ball, I just love being there with them, throwing objects. It’s been roughly four and a half years ago.Continue reading “Run”
Autumn
Today I meditated outside. I live in a duplex apartment and have a small balcony where I grow plants, feed the crows and used to keep chickens. The chickens I rescued were always very destructive towards my plants, I don’t know if that’s a response to the stressful conditions they were bred in, or ifContinue reading “Autumn”
Cause and Effect
I have not been able to write much in the last few days. The reason being that I lack the clarity to use discrete objects like words to describe my present experiences. After some initial discoveries and removal of some obvious blocks I have tumbled into a space where I am entirely unsure. I haveContinue reading “Cause and Effect”
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My father severely dislikes women. I have grown up bearing the brunt of this. Yesterday after many days I felt a relentless pain stemming from an incident related to this. I have of course forgiven and mostly forgotten, but every now and then, when I least expect it, I am pole vaulted into the past.Continue reading “——-“
