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As I sat meditating this morning, I was aware of a rage rising within me, so extreme was the anger that I started to tremble. I followed its path backwards and came to my supposed beginning, my birth. I saw this infant grow, the seed of rage growing into a sapling, then a plant with strong roots. A rage I had inherited from my parents, ancestors, a rage fuelled by society, people, deceit, artifice. A rage that had defined me, helped me stand when all felt lost, a rage that kept me going. Somewhere along the way something had changed within me. I couldn’t say when or how, I suppose I exhausted my rage, saw the futility. But the waves and after effects are still very much within me, I strove to forgive in my meditation today and found a resistance. I did not want to forgive, even though awareness flooded me, my habit energies stubbornly held on. I smile to you my rage, I hold you in my arms, tenderly, as I would hold a puppy, I comfort you. It is time for you to leave.

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