Aw man, the inertia. It just won’t let go. So used to thinking, over thinking, only thinking, you have to be Constantly aware, paying attention, you start to get relaxed (the bad sort of relaxed) and you’re back in that bogus framework. Cause you’ve lived with it and identified with it for So long. And that’s also why you can’t tell when it slowly starts to creep back. It’s only several days later, when you realise, hey I feel really tired, I wonder why. Because you’ve stopped paying attention and/or you’ve gone and narrowed your focus and completely missed it. I suppose I should feel some consolation in that the gap between falling back and realising it has greatly reduced.
And then this popped up? I don’t know what it is, but I want it. I didn’t just say that.