Identity

Photo by Tim Mossholder on Pexels.com

That is the problem with technique and discipline, it takes time, tremendous energy and dedication. The change is happening, in tiny tiny increments, you just can’t see it. So it goes with piano technique, and mindfulness. This morning, like every morning, we were outside playing ball. The weather is really quite perfect and even though the lockdown isn’t so locked anymore and traffic slices the soundscape, it is still a treat. I heard beautiful bird chatter. I was watching my breath, being in the moment, and suddenly I identify the bird, “Parakeet!” I say to myself. Immediately I am in thought, I once worked on a song with a drummer and another keyboard player based around the sound of a parakeet, then my mind drifted to these two individuals, then and then. I caught myself soon enough, I was no longer here, paying attention, mindful. Information, categories, distinction. I hear a sound, it’s a bird, I add more walls, it’s a parakeet, I am no longer listening. I had always assumed the problem was too much information. It is not. It is my identification with this information. I belong to a species, I have a gender, I have a name, I have inheritance, biological, ideological, I cannot fight this, indeed that is exactly what I must not do. I must only observe these phenomena, watch how they interfere with pure experience. It is a matter of training my mind, to accept these containers and yet not identify with them.

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