I feel a little tired today. I haven’t been reading, been rushing, not paying as much attention, not being graceful. It’s hard for me to not constantly push myself, to not criticise myself, to allow myself to make mistakes. A single negative thought towards someone or something upsets me, I have to then analyse where it came from, understand it. This is all very tiring. Sometimes when I teach I’m not giving my best, when I’m taking care of my kids, when I’m contemplating, being a daughter, taking care of my plants, exercising, I am half assing it. This lack of my own effort disturbs me.
I miss someone. I mean yes, there is the internet. But I miss his presence, his proximity, his aura. It is indeed a curious time we live in.