The tremors have finally stopped.
I am a reasonably poor eater, my father had bought me some incredibly disgusting tonic, to take every morning, to improve my appetite. That was when I first noticed the severity of the tremors. I knew I had them, but like all addicts I pretended they were not as harsh. I was a pianist after all, if it was that bad, I would not have been able to play, and I was playing fine, better even, and so I comforted myself that there was no need for alarm. But that blasted tonic, every morning I turned my back on my parents, who were hovering around, doing morning chores, to pour myself a tablespoon of that gruesome liquid, so that they would not notice my hand shaking and me spilling half the spoon’s contents. I even developed a new technique of holding the spoon (I was quite pleased about this) that was not affected by the tremors.
Then there was the eyeliner, I love eye make up, am usually too lazy to do anything about it, but the eyeliner and kajal is almost always in place. This too was proving difficult. I usually withheld the substance consumption till around 3 PM. This was not a rule however, given the slightest ‘stress’ I would convince myself of the ‘Need’. But usually I liked a clear head for the first half of my day. Thus applying the liner, whilst my body was in withdrawal, was somewhat of a test (yes, I make things into games, when I decide I have no choice in the matter), sometimes it took me ten minutes to get it right. This used to irritate me, I hate wasting time, and although I will not let go of the vanity till I’m Old, if at all, I do recognise the time lost.
I told my brother about it, attributing it to a B12 deficiency, common in vegans, the blighter saw through it right away. The next thing I’m receiving links to these annoying articles about alcohol abuse. My brother is my best friend, he looks out for me, makes it very clear when I’m being an ass, and worries about me all the time. He also talks a lot of rubbish, like I do, so most conversations do not involve the sharing of ‘real’ ‘information’, which suits us fine, we have the internet for that. Ignoring him however, and all that delightful literature, I started taking Vitamin B12 (Cyanocobalamin, I like the name), I’m a doctor, fully aware of my ‘condition’ yet was hoping to see the tremors go away, the mind of an addict is capable of any number of irrelevant excuses and every sort of foolishness.
Today, as I was making breakfast for the kids, I noticed my tremors had gone. They’ve probably been gone a while, but I’m quite human, in that, I too, do not pay enough attention to the good stuff and fixate on the bad (I’m working on it).
It’s nice to have my hands back though.